Peace

It's done now.

Thursday was indeed a difficult day. Watching our life get put back in boxes. The kids were looked after by Aunty and friends throughout the week and were happy to avoid the process, but I did bring them back to see everything dismantled, packed etc. so that they had a reference point for the next step.

We are now staying with Mum and Dad. It is wonderful. The burdens feel like they are peeling off and there is peace and excitement sprouting in our hearts. This is a good place to be - on the springboard, training behind us, ready to dive!

It feels like we are ending well. Thank you all the dear lives that have nurtured us to this place. Jesus goes with us, and we take you in our hearts.

Panic

It is 5:01am.

I have spent half the night on our comfy lounge dozing, but....

I can't sleep. Again.

I am feeling dreadful about taking Asha, Shae and Ethan away from here. They are so very happy. Are we doing the right thing? I know all the reasons we have for moving our family back to Hong Kong. They are good reasons! Very valid, very foundational. And yet - oh boy, this is getting tough. And yes, I am doubting this whole situation. Gone is my rock solid resolve. What have I done? What are we doing?

Grief.

The movers come on Thursday and this week I will finalise clearing out our home. Our beautiful, dreamed-of home. We will finish fixing everything up - for someone else to come in and enjoy. We will eat chicken sausages from our local butcher for the last time, swim in our pool for the last time, watch the light fade in our garden for the last time, 'pop over' to my Mum and Dad's house for the last time, hear the footsteps of our kids up the floorboard passage way to the bathroom for the last time.....

I can't think about it any more. But I will. I will think about every single moment as one does a magical experience that I know just cannot last forever. And I will worry for my children because I just can't help it.

And the next adventure will start and I will be okay. But endings are always hard.

SIX!

My baby girls are six. It happened on Thursday. They are beautiful and they were so excited and they had the best day ever, and quite possibly so did I.

We took them out for breakfast and they had blueberry pancakes with icecream (what's not to love about that?). The afternoon involved a water games and pool party with 18 of their school friends plus siblings and their cousins. It was a very hot day (39.9) and it was perfect for such an event. Yes, there were water balloons and a water pistol hunt. Hot chips from the fish and chip shop were a hit. Their cake was a jewellery box (which didn't quite turn out how I had planned, but the girls loved it anyway). My Mum and Dad and sister, Sheriden, were incredible helpers, Jane provided all the party gear (including a gazebo and trestle table!) and Matt was the best lifeguard and pool boy that ever there was. 26 children swam simultaneously in our pool for over 40 minutes and there wasn't one tear shed! Justine Clarke's "It's My Birthday Today" (currently my favourite song) was played many times throughout the day. The girls were spoilt with gorgeous presents (and I also felt spoilt just witnessing it). It was a fantastic day. Our sweet six princesses went to bed smiling, and all the effort was completely worth it.

Toe Update

So, about this toe of mine. It is officially broken. I've seen the x-ray (not that I needed that as proof - the angle the toe was pointing in was enough to convince me!). The GP I saw on Monday morning sent me off for an x-ray, I saw the film, dropped it back in to the GP and then thought it was all over except for taping the poor injured soldier up straight until healed.

Wrong.

The doc gave me a call at about 4:30pm saying that she had looked at the film, discussed it with some colleagues and concluded that it is a bad break which has displaced the toe and therefore has the potential to not heal properly and cause all sorts of future pain/joint/arthritis issues. I need to see a specialist to ensure the toe heals properly. I will need to get a special boot to assist with this. For a toe? Really? She assured me that a boot would be the best option as I would be able to take it off in the shower, for instance, and on the plane. The plane! How long will I have to wear this thing for?? Admittedly, there are less than three weeks before we fly out but I am living in la la land about the reality of how little time that is and the idea of wearing a boot (no matter how convenient it is) for my final weeks in Oz is more than a little frustrating. I am grateful, however, for the doctor following up with me so well and that if this gets sorted out properly now I may be able to avoid long term problems.

We went to see Avatar with David and Jane tonight. I haven't found the right words to describe the experience yet, but it was pretty amazing. When we left the cinema and made the obligatory girls rest room stop I was chatting to Jane about the saga of my toe. She made a comment that perhpas it was a heroic and somehow fitting picture that I will end up limping toward the finish line here. Perhaps it is. Many things have been broken during our Australian season. But as we read in Ecclesiastes - everything has a season. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to dance.....

Two Wheels in the Garden and a Broken Toe

Last night we went to the Fern Avenue Community Garden where Mum and Dad a have veggie patch. We means our family, Mum and Dad, the Banks' and the Douglas's (ie my sisters, husbands, kids). We cooked woodfired pizzas in the pizza oven (yep, it was insane - 40 degrees+ with a wood oven going!). But we chased the shade and enjoyed the intermittent breezes.

And we feasted on gourmet pizzas.

And we celebrated a lazy mid-summer night in the garden.

The girls rode their bikes around the garden and up and down the street (now without trainer wheels - a new skill acquired just last weekend!). Ethan patted the resident bunny and a visiting cat and marvelled at the spiders. Creature heaven is what that boy was in!

And we felt sad at the thought of leaving it all behind when we head off on our new adventure on February 1st. Leaving again. Oh, my heart. How can we live with all these goodbyes? Perhaps only because we know that they will be followed by warm and rich hellos.

And today I broke (or maybe dislocated, I'm not sure) my toe. On my right foot (you know, the one that is most useful for driving). Of course, it happened on a Sunday afternoon, so I will have to wait until tomorrow to see a doctor. Might I add, for those of you who have never seen your toe pointing in a freaky and strange direction - it hurts. A LOT.

Wet Wet Wet

Asha, Shae and Ethan got to bed a little late tonight due to prolonged outdoor water activities.

It is going to be 40 or so for the next 4 days here in Adelaide so I thought I ought to nurture the garden with some water so it could go the distance. The kids came out to watch after we'd finished dinner. Well, not really to watch - they came out and got absolutely drenched! They squealed with delight as the ran around on the grass not really trying to avoid the spray of the hose. It was lovely! Kids don't really get the chance to do much of that these days with our drought and water restrictions. And all I could think of was my own childhood - trying to remember a summer when we didn't run under the hose or sprinkler and get bee stings on our feet.....

The Whole Festive Season

I feel like we have been celebrating Chistmas for a long time this year! The Adelaide Christmas pageant was held on a stinking hot 42 degree day on November 14th and it has been festive ever since. That was six weeks ago!

So, what have we done to celebrate? What have been the highlights of this time?

The girls' Nativity play at school was a very special highlight.

Last Saturday night also makes the grade. We had my Mum and Dad, sisters Martine and Sheriden, their husbands and Sheriden's children over for a swim and pizza dinner. It was a good chance for Matt to catch up with the crew before he went away to miss Christmas (a painful issue...!). By the time everyone left it was about 8pm and close to nightfall. Daylight saving here means it doesn't get dark until after 8:30pm so there were few times I felt inclined toward keeping the kids up late enough to see any of the night time Christmas lights. Because it was already late(ish) we seized the moment and spontaneously decided to veiw the Christmas decorations hung by the residents of 9th Avenue, St. Peters. We loaded the kids up for the adventure and had a magical time wandering the avenue and hearing the kids gasp as they went from house to house. Asha commented that now it really felt like Christmas and that the whole experience was "like a dream come true!". Out of the mouths of babes.... We had the added joy, when we returned home, of showing the kids our tree all lit up and then taking them outside to see God's wonder in the sky - STARS! So many of them in our clear, dark sky. What a marvelous display.

Next on the list is a glorious family day we spent at McLaren Vale - arguably our favourite place on Earth. The kids played hide and seek in the gardens of Coriole Winery, we visited the Willunga bakery for doughnuts and then indulged our small family members in a visit to the beach at Pt. Willunga.

Wednesday, December 23 was the Tamms family Christmas lunch which was relaxed and lovely. We tried to have a real "Christmas Day" early, but it isn't really the same. We all enjoyed receiving our new nighties and pj's and paraded around in them over our fruit salad breakfast (plus icecream for the kids). Yum! Apart from the presents, the highlight for the girls was sifting through the icecream pudding to find the wrapped coins. The pudding was then abandoned (maybe next year I should just wrap up some coins and put them out for dessert!).

We sadly dropped off Matt at work on the morning of Christmas eve and then headed for IKEA to the kids playroom (ie quiet time for mummy) with a hotdog chaser for lunch. Home for naps (everyone) before heading to the church Carols by Candlelight where the girls sang in the childrens choir (gorgeous!), the kids had their faces painted, we all froze and arrived home ready to fall into bed at 10pm.

Christmas morning started slowly for us. The girls marvelled over their stockings and anxiously waited for Ethan to wake up (8am!!!). We unwrapped gifts from Luise and Graham. The kids had a breakfast of Freddos and hot chocolate and watched TV until Mia and Grandad arrived. I busied myself with preparing a yummy Nigella watermelon salad and putting the finishing touches on our dessert of white chocolate cheesecake with berries. Presents with Mia nd Grandad. Catching a few snails and a fly in the garden (Ethan and Grandad) and then off to Aunty Sheriden and Uncle Grant's house for the feast. The scene was perfect and it was lovely to be with family (and to at last have some adult company for Christmas!). The cousins enjoyed each others' company and played well. We shared communion as a family and it was special to hear Dad read to us from Isaiah where it talks about the coming Saviour - the reason for our celebration. It was a beautiful and drama free day and we arrived home at about 5:15pm ready for a bath, story time (new books!) and bed. We were blessed and the kids were spoilt. But.......

We missed Matt. I missed Matt. While philosophically we can accept that it is only fair to miss a Christmas after having spent the past 5 with us, the reality is that we weren't all together. Daddy was missing. And that was very, very difficult.

So, here we are. Boxing day. The kids are playing surprisingly well together. We are not going anywhere and there is noone coming over. I am exhausted. Today we will be hermits and might just eat toast for dinner. We are all still in our new nighties and pyjama's. Peace.