I have spent half the night on our comfy lounge dozing, but....
I can't sleep. Again.
I am feeling dreadful about taking Asha, Shae and Ethan away from here. They are so very happy. Are we doing the right thing? I know all the reasons we have for moving our family back to Hong Kong. They are good reasons! Very valid, very foundational. And yet - oh boy, this is getting tough. And yes, I am doubting this whole situation. Gone is my rock solid resolve. What have I done? What are we doing?
Grief.
The movers come on Thursday and this week I will finalise clearing out our home. Our beautiful, dreamed-of home. We will finish fixing everything up - for someone else to come in and enjoy. We will eat chicken sausages from our local butcher for the last time, swim in our pool for the last time, watch the light fade in our garden for the last time, 'pop over' to my Mum and Dad's house for the last time, hear the footsteps of our kids up the floorboard passage way to the bathroom for the last time.....
I can't think about it any more. But I will. I will think about every single moment as one does a magical experience that I know just cannot last forever. And I will worry for my children because I just can't help it.
And the next adventure will start and I will be okay. But endings are always hard.
My dear Denby
ReplyDeleteFor you, it's almost thursday, which means it's almost "Australia life wraping up day". May this highly confused phase of your lives flow as smooth as such a move can possibly be and I pray you'll land in HK holding hands with Jesus, in order to make your new HK life a huge big blessing in your lives, and of course it will be no other way. God bless you 5, hugs and kisses, Odila